That inner voice sounds more like a code
by Scarpan D
Summary: She was not sure when the moment was, but the voice that was supposed to tell her that she felt, what she felt was starting to get louder and louder.


Person of Interest and all its characters are NOT mine.

* * *

><p><strong>That inner voice sounds more like a code<strong>

_ . _

She was not sure when the moment was, but the voice that was supposed to tell her that she felt, _what_ she felt was starting to get louder and louder.

It started with Gen and that stupid awkward hug, then, before she had time to adjust to that low murmur every time she saw the Order of Lenin medal the kid had given her, she was listening to _that_ _annoying _voice every time she found herself in front of Root.

It was not fast though, at the beginning was something soft, not as clear as the "you care" every time she thought of Gen, not like the "ok, he's fun" of John or the "he believes" of Finch that the voice tells her, they're all murmurs, whispers that she's just learning to hear, no, when she thinks of Root the voice is a little louder like a secret you want everyone to know, it sound like electricity and denial, not close enough to acceptance, it sounds so much like "Dammit", and it stays like that until the day Root is taken by Control, and the voice only gets a lot more louder and little less clear and it only shuts up when Harold tells her that Root is fine, it stays quiet after that, so quiet that she starts thinking she lost _that_ voice because it was screaming so loud.

And the next time she sees Root the voice is suddenly quiet, and there are no words just a low hum, that goes louder and louder the closer they are, it sounds like something she heard before (Morse-code she thinks), but she's not sure if she wants to know the_ meaning of it,_ because it reminds her so much of Root, and it sounds so much like _love_.

After that she doesn't want to listen anymore and every time she hears that hum (she's calling it Root's hum now), she tells herself it means "Hate" because the sound is annoying and so much bigger that anger.

_ . _

It never goes away though, it keeps humming (fast and insistent like worry) when she checks Root's injuries.

And when Root disappears to who knows where (it sounds slow, like sadness).

And when Root reappears suddenly and without warning (it gets upbeat, like happiness).

And when Root is in danger (it sounds frantic like fear, like _"do something"_).

And when they finally say goodbye the voice comes alive and strong and it clearly says "Hope", and in the background is Root's hum, sounding slow, then frantic, then slow again.

It's not the first time it hurts to hear, but it's the first time it hurts this much.

It makes sense…

It can only hurt if you care…

_ . _

It happens after a mission, she is high on adrenaline and wishing for a beer or something stronger when Root looks at her with that crocked smirk, the one that says "I have what you need, want me to give it to you?", that makes warm spread through her body and that pleasant throbbing that comes after a well-done mission becomes more pleasant for reasons she doesn't dare to think about.

But then, Root looks down, her smile a little less daring and suddenly she is facing her again, playfully.

"As much as I like to stay…" she is saying, and it sounds so true "I better go"

It's best, Shaw knows, to go separate ways, sooner rather than later, because Samaritan is still looking for them, but she also knows that this could be the last time they see each other, that she could never see _her_ again, she doesn't question _why_ the though didn't come with John or Finch, or anyone, but _her_.

So she asks.

"You're gonna call, right?" she hates the way her voice sounds like she cares (she doesn't, really), Root looks at her confused, after all they're not supposed to call each other "…If she gives you a number," she clarifies "you're gonna call _me_…" they both know it's not a question, they both know it's too revealing "so I don't die of boredom"

Root smirks "Maybe…" she says swaying a little closer, as if she's going to touch her "If you promise to be good" she adds with a shrug.

Shaw is tempted to nod, she rolls her eyes instead.

Root doesn't say goodbye, she only turns around and is walking away when the voice, Root's hum, the one that have been trying to tell her _something_ since Root showed up at her door that very morning, Root's hum that is suddenly clear and loud and, _yes_, it _is_ Morse-code and _no_, it's not saying "hate", it's saying _"everything"_, it's saying _"Love"_…

It makes sense, in a totally crazy, annoying and twisted way.

Shaw finds herself swearing under her breath because _fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck it! _And _damm, damm, damm, dammit!_

"Fuck Dammit!" she says

Root is looking at her confused and worried, Shaw thinks she must look crazy.

"I love you!" she says, annoyed and angry, throwing her hands in the air, because really, of all the people, of all of _them_ it had to be Root "Fucking Dammit!" she says again turning around, punching the first thing she sees (which happens to be a wall), and keeps walking.

She is about to disappear around the corner when she stops, turns to look at Root who is still standing there, shocked.

"Call me!" Shaw orders raising her hand and pointing at her, "don't' you dare to go by yourself again, understand?" she asks eyebrows raised and waits, Root stands there, too shocked for words so she just gives a jerky nod and watches her go.

Shaw wonders, while she walks away, if she'll end up like Cole or Carter, or John or Harold, she's not sure which is better…

She hopes there's nothing worse.

The end.

* * *

><p><strong>Author Notes: <strong>So, I always though that when the time comes it would be Shaw who says the three big words first, because even if Root felt it first, she wouldn't say anything until she knows Shaw is ready... or she's dying. This is my first fic in English so.. please if you see any errors tell me, it'll help.

Thank you for reading, have a nice day!


End file.
